Imagine you are the best communicator - SSLS11

Here, I am delivering a session on 'Imagine you are the best communicator' at Tidel Park, Chennai - attended by parents, teachers, students of Sri Sankara, Cognizant employees, TED organizers and fellow TED speakers.

'The Blessing' - Int. Speech contest video

We had an exciting speech contest on Feb 27th 2011. 'Exciting' because each contestant's speech was well prepared, practiced and presented.

My speech was titled 'The blessing'. It talks about the concept of un-realised power within each one of us. I convey this by alluding to the concept of Jambavan-Hanuman from Hindu mythology. This concept also reveals that for every person with un-realised potential, there is a Jambavan who can unlock it, thus transforming 'The Curse' (which was my original title) into 'The Blessing'.

View the video and give me your valuable feedback. Lets brainstorm.

Evaluation of "Get to the point" project - April 17th 2011

Evaluation of "Project 3 - get to the point" of the Competent Communication (CC) manual - Toastmasters International.

Pravin spoke on 'Who cares?', elaborating the effects of smoking and drinking.

Objective of this project is:
1. Select a speech topic and determine its general and specific purposes.
2. Organize the speech in a manner that best achieves those purposes.
3. Ensure te beginning, body and conclusion reinforce the purposes.
4. Project sincerity and conviction and control any nervousness you may feel.
5. Strive not to use notes

Do leave your comments!

Dhuruva Natchathiram - A Short film!

A picture conveys a thousand words. Then what about a short film? Dhuruva Natchathiram is a beautiful blend of emotions well conveyed, characters well potrayed, and stereotypes well betrayed!

Directed by my good friend Aravind, it showcases how life comes a full circle - parents ambition for their children sometimes leads to repentance on retrospection. It also shows the (dis)connect between the US born Tam-bram boy and his orthodox thatha (granddad).

The film does not opinionate, rather observes the subtleties of life and relationship.

Positions and Interests in Communication!

Good communication and positive negotiation are inseparably close. How does the simplest ‘transaction of words’ – Communication happen? Consider person A communicating to person B.
Step 1: ‘A’ shares his point of view
Step 2: Gets B’s opinion about the view.
Step 3: Rebut / Agree to B’s point of view
Step 4: Arrive at a mutually agreeable solution.

In these 4 simple steps - great deals are signed, masses are inspired, mergers are made, relationships blossom! But do they….always? Sometimes, even the simplest of communication ends in disaster! Let us see how extrapolating the theory of Negotiation, the concept of ‘Position’ and ‘Interest’ to our day-to-day Communication, provide startling revelations.
Probing further, let us take 3 different ‘parties’ we communicate to everyday – Parent, Boss, Child!

Situation: You arrive at a time later than expected by the ‘party’. The common question that each party may put forward is “Why are you late? You are supposed to come an hour early today”
The human mind always goes on a defensive. Why? That’s another thread altogether! How do we react to this question posed?

To Parent: “The car got punctured. You don’t know how frustrated I am, so please stop questioning”
To Boss: “I’m sorry sir. The car got punctured. I had to call the mechanic and that delayed me”
To Child: “Dad’s car got punctured. Go do your homework”

Observe these answers carefully. What we are essentially doing is tackling the question posed. Rather, more bluntly put, tackling the words bombarded at us! And all 3 answers are unsatisfactory to the listeners. The parent is unhappy because you did not understand their feeling. The boss is unhappy because your late arrival may affect your day’s productivity. Your child is unhappy because you have given this reason all too often!

The secret behind good communication is the understanding that, the questions posed/bombarded don’t always reflect the purpose of the question! The question is just the other party’s ‘Position’. And because we often ‘hear’, but seldom ‘listen’ to the other person, only their position gets to our ears. But, under close observation of the above example, there is a different underlying ‘Interest’ behind the same position held by each of the 3 parties under consideration.
The ‘Interest’ behind the parent’s anxiety is maybe concern ‘It is getting late and it’s unsafe for my son to come home at this time’ which leads to the natural ‘Position’ of “Why are you late, you said you’d come an hour early”
The ‘Interest’ behind the boss’s anxiety is maybe anxiety ‘It is critical times in the project and this guy is not showing enough involvement’ which leads to the natural position of “Why are you late, you said you’d come an hour early”
The ‘Interest’ behind your child’s anxiety is maybe disappointment ‘You promised to play carom with me in the evening’ which leads to the natural position of “Why are you late, you said you’d come an hour early”

Intelligent communicators tackle the Root. The majority end up tackling the Shoot. The shoot is the ‘Position’ and the root is the underlying ‘Interest’. These underlying interests, though hidden, are in fact not difficult for us to pick/find out.
Let us trying addressing the party’s ‘Interest’ in the above example and see what comes out!
To Parent: “The car got punctured ma. But I know I should have called you and let you know I am safe. But don’t worry mom, be assured that I drive safe!”
To Boss: “I’m sorry sir. The car got punctured and it led to complications. I plan to stay back late today and make up for the loss of productivity. And going forward, I’ll make sure I’ll call you in advance”
To Child: “I’m sorry! I was awaiting our carom game today, but unfortunately was held up. I’ll make it up to you tomorrow. But for today, daddy has bought you this dairy milk chocolate?J”

Does it sound better? Hitting the ‘Interest’ directly rather than the ‘Position’ not only avoids rebuttals, but also nourishes relationships. A client, a parent, a shopkeeper – the interest behind the same position may vary! But since communication is all about positive negotiation, applied common sense will reveal the underlying ‘Interests’. And what more - you have won over the other person and even established long term credibility!

Towering Personality - Anna Centenary Library!

In Gandhi Mandapam Road, the heart of Koturpuram, stands majestically South Asia's largest library. It was with awe i used to look at the massive architechture as i passed it every evening on my way back home from work. This continued until last week, when i finally stopped to check its insides.

Not too different from an IT company, the towering 9 storybuilding casts its shadow

over most of koturpuram. But even more amazing is the experience inside.

With parking space for over 300 cars and 1000 2 wheelers, the library can accommodate over 1250 persons at a time! As i parked my car and entered the premises, the security did a neat thorough check aided with usual toys like metal detectors and scanners, which made it more like an airport security check. The building consists of 8 floors. The first 4 floors are up and running and the top 4, i heard, will be opened to public shortly. It was a humbling experience to see the quantum of knowledge stored inside the majestically built building.

At present ACL has 5.5 lakhs books!!

Ground floor

• A Braille (with at least 25,000 titles) and talking book section
• Two conference halls with a capacity of 200 persons and 30 persons each
• A cyber café
• VVIP lounge

First floor

• Has two sections: Children's section and Reading Hall
• An exclusive 15,000 sq. ft. children's section with all kind of books for the kids and Computer games
• A comfort reading hall for senior citizens which includes Journals, Newspapers and Magazines

Second floor

• Books in Tamil
• A seminar hall (with a capacity of 136 persons)

Third floor

• English books covering wide range of subjects like Computer science, philosophy, religion, sociology

Fourth floor

• Economics
• Law
• Education
• Language and literature

Fifth floor

• Pure science ( maths, Physics ,Chemistry, biology)
• Basic Engineering
• Medicine

Sixth floor

• Engineering
• Agriculture
• Food Science
• Veterinary medicine
• Managemenet
• Chemical Engineering
• Arts
• History & Geography

Seventh floor [Under construction]

• Oriental manuscripts
• Collections from donors and an audio-visual section

Eighth floor [Under construction]

• Rare books, preservation unit, photo and digital libraries.

On a whole, my heart was filled with pride to see the extrinsic structure and intrinsic knowledge this elegant building in Koturpuram possessed. At a time when we keep cribbing about the government doing nothing, I've not heard a single person praise or use this mammoth implementation undertaken by the government!

I pledge to use the library, do you? If yes, Cheers!!

Spirituality made elegant - The work of Ramakrishna Order!

I got associated with the Ramakrishna Mission to help with the Youth Leadership Program. For me, at that time, it was more for getting speaking/event mgmt opportunity than spirituality.

But the monks made me curious. Outside the gates of the mission, there were millions of people frustrated, depressed with work, office, marriage, wealth, affairs etc... and inside the gates were men in their prime, dressed in saffron robes, oblivious to material needs and physical desires.

Things which seems impossible to live without for us, is considered a burden to live with by them. Who are they? Were they born different? Raised different? How do they manage to see the other side of the wall when we are still playing in our compound?

I decided to make a video documentary about the life and culture of a monk in the Ramakrishna Order, the strongest surviving cult in Hinduism. They are progressive in terms of analysis of truth, they are not blindfolded by scriptures or books - which are guidelines which should never stifle individual thought.

As i started reading Vivekananda, i realised the potential a human being can unleash, if he decides to. Human excellence, fearlessness and eloquence are the 3 words that i can describe Vivekananda with.

I dedicate this video to my ignorance and and salute the people who have taken a road less but spiritually traveled.

It's time we start thinking about actual 'Things'!!

Are we living our lives to its fullest? I feel the importance given to intellectual and spiritual progress has declined so much that we are behaving very close to 5 sensed being.


The sole objective of our lives has become to earn our bread, get a promotion, marry, live out life? Even after acquiring that at least, do we look beyond? A single moment? Our minds are rusted to the mundane, routinic lives we are living!


As a person, a human being, there are so many more things that we can think about.


According to me, thinking can happen in 3 levels:


Level 1:

Are we channelizing all our talent, resources, intelligence to something worthwhile, productive? Something that the world will remember once we are gone? Or atleast what we will remember 10 years down the lane? How can i contribute to someones life, to make a difference in the society i live in, to the dear and near ones?
Maybe visit an old age home and sing for the oldies and make them happy
Maybe use the gift of the gab and make great speakers out of others
Maybe sponsor education to that poor girl with all doors shut
This is the Level 13 of thinking where you accept the whims and fancies of the world, continue to be in the rat race, yet make a difference to the world around you.

Level 2:


When i look around, the world seems so big.
There is the Wall street in New York, then there the fashion capital in Paris, then there is the pyramids of egypt, then the snow covered artic and antartic, the slums of mumbai, the great wall in china, and then there is our home and office.
Sitting in the 12th floor of an office, the space which was just thin air before the building was built, travelling only between our home and office everyday, and getting old in that manner, is not going to make us realize a bit of what this world has got to offer!


I feel we are too confined! There are over 6,000,000,000 people just like us in this world! Each has a bundle of worry, happiness, elation, misery just like us. A broken relationship, a lost job, a new dining set broken, all these cause us so much of mental tension. We over act our emotions, thinking that we are the epicenter of the world. But pause - are we being too confined. We can't blame ourselves for that because we have never exposed ourselves to the hugeness of the world! The cultures, the traditions, the perspectives, the religions!
So Travel may be a choice for many..
Reading comparative religion, parallel mythology may be a solution to some
What ever be our means to exposure, the truth is we are small specs in front of creation!

Level 3:

What is this world? From where have we come from, where do we depart to? What is relationship? Who is our mother, father, sister? Who are our friends? Bhaja govindam talks about this in a profound, hard-hitting way:
Kaa tae kaantaa kastae putraha
samsaaro yamateeva vichitraha
kasya tvam kah kuta aayaata
stattvam chintaya tadiha braaha
Meaning:
Who is your beloved wife? Who is your son? The worldly illusion is supremely wonderful!
Of whom are you? Where have you come from? Of brother, think of that truth, right here itself.
Are not these questions interesting? Are not these intellectual puzzles exciting? Though we may never find solutions to these questions, we can ponder over these once in a while. Because, these questions are not about solutions. It is about arousing your spiritual dimension.
We are but products of chemical reaction between the X and Y chromosomes some say
We are but a product of the big bang theory some say
We are but product of natural selection of beneficial mutations others have said
When we don't even know who we are and our purpose of birth and death, when we don't even know who are going to report to after life, whether there is an appraisal system over there, if there is one, what parameters are we going to get appraised in, It seems stupid to attach so much of undue importance to just working in a financial firm, IT company etc...we can't live without earning, but that does not stop us from thinking!

The level 1 is worldly profoundity - which says 'accepting what we are, what can
we do?'
The level 2 is self profoundity - which is realization that we are but grains in the mighty farm!
The level 3 is spiritual profoundity - which is gnana yoga, path to salvation and renunciation!

Tribute to Toastmasters!

This is a video assembled quite some time back. A tribute to Toastmasters and my journey in it from 2006...

Thanks to all of you who have made me involve and evolve in TM! Ill never forget this journey, which still has a long way to go!!

How to make the Client agree with your suggestions and decision:

This does not happen over-night. The client always has a superior ego and distrusts contractors (not just BNYM or Cognizant). But nothing in this world is impossible!

Follow the below thumb rules:

1. Gain his trust

In the little work you do, do it perfectly with no loop holes. Say you are preparing a tracker. Re-review twice so that client will be searching for review comments. All clients love perfectionists. When this continues he is going to approach you with bigger responsibilities.

2. Demand respect

Don’t make the client feel that you are a push over. If you find something wrong with the client’s approach or decisions pertaining you or Cognizant, don’t hesitate to bring it out. But do it a calm and friendly way.

With many instances like this, client will start respecting your decisions. The worst thing to do is to say ‘yes’ to whatever he says because he is the client. That may make him temporarily happy and you relieved but in the long term, he is not going to look to you for suggestions because he already knows your answer!

3. Take a problem only with a solution in mind

What are decisions and suggestions? It’s about bringing solutions to an existing problem. In client’s mind you should be a ‘Solution Giver’ and not just a ‘Problem Identifier’. So even with some basic everyday problems you report to him, go with a solution, don’t bother whether it’s right or wrong.

Example:

As-is situation:

You: ‘EPG is not working because of environment failure’

Client: “This is the same thing I am hearing everyday”

What you can do instead:

You: (State problem) “EPG is not working because of environment failure” (pause)

(State probable solution) “I think we should contact the developers and support team and ask them to provide access to another environment till this issue is resolved”

Client: “I think that’s a good idea. Do it and let me know if that problem arises in the new environment too”

4. Keep proving

With clients it’s never a ‘one time miracle’, that is, proving once is not enough. You need to prove points 1, 2 and 3 above in at least 3-4 instances for him to consider you worthy of making a decision.

Communicate effectively with Tough Clients!

How to answer when a Question is posed by your Client (from onsite) and you don’t know the answer (sitting in India)?

1. 1. Take a moment to think whether you are completely blank or you have some remote idea about the subject in discussion.

2. 2. Whichever be the case, you cannot do anything about it NOW. You are already facing the client. You cannot go back, get information and come. So be CONFIDENT. Do not lower your voice, appear shaky or stammer. Client is not an enemy. Mentally, treat him as your friend.

3. 3. If you are completely blank about the question, openly accept your Ignorance on the subject, but do it cleverly.

Example:

Client: ‘Why is Aditya on leave today?’

Here is how a bad communicator would tackle the situation:

‘I don’t know. He didn’t tell me’ (This may irritate the client and fuel more questions from him)

Here is how a good and seasoned communicator would tackle the same situation:

‘I’m not sure. But I shall get back to you with an answer in an hour’

4. 4. If you have some vague idea on the subject, do not apologize immediately. Analyze the reason in your mind and objectively answer the question.

Example:

Client: ‘Why are the EOS export files not in place as I expected’

Here is how a bad communicator would tackle the situation:

(Long Pause) (Murmuring between team mates) “We actually put it but don’t know why it is not there” (This shows lack of responsibility though you didn’t mean it that way)

Here is how a good and seasoned communicator would tackle the same situation:

(Short pause to think) “‘The export files were generated successfully and placed” (client gets a relief) “I’m guessing that it was not pasted in right folder. I’ll make sure it is pasted in the correct folder asap. I’m sorry for the inconvenience”

Note that I have used only positive language like ‘successfully’, ‘right’, correct’ and only then said ‘apologize’. This psychologically makes the client relieved.

Tidbits from Eloquence 2010!

Memories that will stick from Div Contest:

Find a chair if you can - there was a time we used to tell the hotel attenders to take the remaining chairs once the hall was full, so that the hall would not look empty (old trick). But at Eloquence 2010, the attenders had to frantically bring in more chairs as the crowd soared! Expected crowd 100, Actual 180. Kudos team!

The dark horses - It was a day of revelations as the new and juvenile Toastmasters came big on the big day. And humor king was Jagan, a 3 month old TM. It underlined the beauty of contests - Unpredictability!

Library of quotes - Oh, if at all you need an inspiration for memory power, how about our Keynote speaker, Mr. Nataraj? I haven't heard a keynote speech so rich with relevant quotes, rhymes. who ever brought him to the event, thanks!

Bravo CK - I know what it takes to deliver an education session, having gone through the pleasant ordeal during Ovation 2010. Kudos to CK to repeat a show within a year to the same audience, keeping it just as gripping.

Madras has come off age - The times when number of Chennai TM Club member's were most populous in a Division event seems to have come to an end seeing the support and camaraderie between Madras TM club members. Its inspiring stuff, and healthy competition...keep it up.

Lone soldier - Special thanks to District Governor Nagaraj, for being the only District officer (top 7) to make it to the conference.

Sadayapan's antics/Saro's poetic touch - Sadayappan earned himself all required degrees to be Sivaji Ganesan's script writer. Jokes apart, his intro and vote of thanks were as fluent as the session itself. The icing on the cake was Saro's poetic touch to introduce Contest masters Shridhar and Mani. Creativity guys, nurture it!

On the whole, i only wished the Tradition of having a fun night (which started with Comquest 09) had continued at Eloquence. Dance, songs, spirits and dim lights makes friends thicker :) But Division G, you rock!

Thanks for making my Sunday special!

Area Contests - The unforgettables!

The second level of contests, the Area contests, happened today and here are the Moments to Capture!!

1. Together, we achieve more: There were a lot of firsts. For starters, Area G1 and G2 co-hosted the contest, which has not been tried before. Though it may not be ideal by books, it was a good idea, keeping in mind the Division Conference, which is just a week away.

2. Governor Square: We got to see both our leaders Lalitha and Rajiv in action on the same day!

2. No Home advantage: The contests were held in a club, which does not fall under both the areas! This is another first, but sensible as it nullifies 'home advantage', if any!

3. Saro's tie: That must be one the brightest ties I've seen, and Saro made justice to its looks, looking smarter than ever! The contests required a bright beginning, and who else to begin the proceedings than the man with the Golden tie!

4. The quest continues: Rajesh, the most eligible bach of CTM, gave us a repeat performance this year, with the only change being wife-hunting and not just girl-hunting. This shows he is getting focussed! What is it going to be next year Rajesh?

5. Bullzeye: The target speakers, both of them, hit the target with value driven speeches. While Sinduja talked on Virtual reality - how the world may end up being if we do not act today, Rahul spoke on Taking a road less traveled. The beauty of journalism, though i later learnt he is a Comp science graduate getting into IT as well :)

7. Elwis, MJ, then Vikram: While everybody prepares a speech, our Vikram prepares his steps carefully! Hip shakes, moon walk, hip hop, head stand - it all comes just naturally to him, reverberating Andra Chambers! Hats off Vikram.What a sensation!

The 'Joke of the day' award undoubtedly goes to Vikram:
'Married men are like split AC'
Well, let me know what you infer from the above punch and post it in the comments section below!

See ya at Eloquence - on the 3rd of October! (But maybe even before that, on this page :) )

An Inception about Inception!

It's quite obvious that few have mastered the craft of film making like Christopher Nolan has. But what is really gratifying with his latest masterpiece Inception is the world's nod to this fact, with great marketing and publicity given to the movie.

If Butterfly Effect made us dive fully into the absurd world of delusion-ed reality, Inception holds us up just a little bit, with a half dive into the valley of absurdity. It gives us space to argue, to debate our perceptions, to fight over the facts presented in the film. And that is where, in my perspective, the film and Nolan have struck gold.

Cobb and team enter 3 layers of dream, each deeper and more fascinating than the previous layer. The idea of 'time' is brilliantly depicted in this movie. The human perception of time decreases exponentially as we get deeper into the dream folds. Even in our dreams, so many times, we dream a sequence lasting hours, and wake up to find that it has been just 15 minutes of sleep. Seeing such a phenomenon depicted in a manner Nolan did was truly exhilarating.

Nolan has directed some of our all time favorite movies - movies which 1. makes us think 2. Involve us in decoding the mystery and 3. Leave the ending to our perceptible creativity. My previous favorite of his was 'The Prestige', a concept of rivalry so elegantly handled and of course his Magnum Dark Knight!

We are truly humbled in front of the greatness of legends like Christopher Nolan, James Cameroon, Martin Scorsese and others...Each of their movies is a piece of Art, delivered with such perfection that each becomes an epic in the landscape of film history!

Special DTM! Most cherished moment...

A memorable Sunday! Distinguished Toastmaster is a status, but Toastmasters of Chennai truly made me feel Distinguished, and made it more special than i expected! This is my acceptance speech right from my heart. Thank you one and all!



After finishing, i felt happier than after any of my prepared speeches :)